i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
