my mouth tastes like poor choices
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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