Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
