Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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