so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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