He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
