38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
