i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
