You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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