after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
