I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
