ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
