are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
