The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
