so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
