At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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