Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
