wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
