I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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