I want to have your abortion
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
