So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
