Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
