we have officially lost it.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
