I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
