hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
