I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
