Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize