I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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