If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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