He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Randomize
