Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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