Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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