Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
