Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
