I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You were trust falling into bushes
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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