good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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