WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Did I show you my penis last night?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
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