what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
