At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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