it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Randomize
