I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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