1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
my phone needs a breathalizer
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize