omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
