So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
