I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
