from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
