I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
