Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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