Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I need water and some morals
false alarm, still single
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize