the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
