one might say we're banned from that church
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
