I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
