i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
