I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
