Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
