You're so nebulous sometimes
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
