oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
