it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
