So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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