the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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