There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My life is pants optional.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
