just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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